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AaronMichaelGordon.com: Voice of Degeneration

On "Our Degenerating Culture & A Resolution I Plan To Keep."

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This entry was posted on 12/14/2007 2:59 PM and is filed under Pop Culture, Random Nonsense, Humor.

So, last night I was watching a special on VH1 called "What Perez Sez About 2007." This is Perez Hilton's version of the Academy Awards, featuring such illustrious categories as "Biggest Douche" and "Hit With The Fug Stick." Now, truth be told, I am no stranger to PerezHilton.com or TMZ.com and the rest. We, the people can't resist a good trainwreck, and Perez clearly knows and profits from this.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not blaming Perez Hilton for his coverage of the media, and his lewd, cruel way of shredding celebrity culture. We're at fault for finding the trainwrecks interesting. Without an audience, Perez Hilton would merely be another fat queen waiting tables, no?

And I have to give Perez tons of credit. He, like the superbly funny Kathy Griffin, has totally tapped into our bizarre fascination and abhorence of the current crop of stars making the scene. It's a weird paradox: I can't find anyone who likes or admires the Nicole Ritchies, the Paris Hiltons and the up-and-losing Rumer Willises of the world, and yet...we can't turn away from the useless carnage. There's tarty fun in dem dere hills. And for Perez and his ilk, there's black gold in the form of an audience to witness the lurid spectacle.
 
At the same time, has this phase of pop culture not run its course already? Or are we, the people, so easily duped by these disasterous photo ops, which result in money, fame and power for the players involved? Perez Hilton is now a celebrity, just as covered and coveted as the useless people he draws upon. There's something ironic in that: a blogger, basically taking public domain shots from all over the web and posting them with doodles, is now what Slate.com calls "the Barbara Walters of his generation."

This mere fact should make working people, from the aforementioned Kathy Griffin to the cashiers at Wal-Mart wretch and vomit on their hard-earned paychecks (to say nothing of Walters: a Sarah Lawrence graduate with actual, earned credibility in the journalism business.) And yet, we, the people empower him by paying attention to his site, and the celebrities he covers. Again, I'm not critiquing Perez Hilton: he saw a market and went after it with gusto. I'm critiquing we, the people, who are so easily distracted by Britney's vagina and Sharon Stone's cellulite. Without us, there would be no Perez.

Or Paris. Rumer. Kim K. And the rest. They'd be gone...or at the very least, they'd have to do something to earn our attention.

I told this to my best friend, Jenn, and she was reminded of the Simpsons' Halloween episode where the advertising icons in the town of Springfield come to life. The key to stopping their rampage is to not look at them: attention gives them power. Perhaps the same is true of celebrities: if we glue our eyes to something else, maybe they'll go away. I'll even step it up a notch: we'll pay attention to you, if you do something, like sing, dance, act or paint...that merits attention.

Dressing like shit doesn't count.

We, the people, are failing to complete the circle here as well. Because I think that it's not merely Perez Hilton and company that are profiting from our tabloid zeal. It's the celebrities themselves. Instead of starting with product and moving into the party and the photo op...they're starting with the photo op which opens them up to the parties and eventually...product!

Take Paris Hilton as an example:
She's 'caught' on film having intercourse with some guy under a black light.
She gets a contract to open up nightclubs...just to show up.

She gets out of a limo without panties, showing the world her vagina again.
She gets cast in the horror movie "House of Wax."

She goes to jail and has a media circus follow her through that ordeal.
She releases a best-selling, pricey perfume selling at Macys, Nordstroms, and other upscale stores.

She says 'that's hot' ad nauseum, while wearing ugly, skanky clothing.
She records an album of pop music. 

I'm pretty sure this isn't a strict chronology of 'what happened when.' The result is that we, the people, pay attention to the goddawful nonsense that Paris does, and she gets a promotional, film, retail and recording-artist CAREER out of the deal. It's a case of one thing feeding another. Without us looking at her, she's just another slut dressed badly. With our hungry eyes, however...she's 'legit' now. She can make the claim of being an 'actor/singer/mogul.'

That's fucking absurd.

As is the continued success of Britney Spears, long past her shelf life.

Spears began her career as a 'singer' with limited talent. "Baby...One More Time" was an earned, bizarre pop moment for the star, but she deserved that hit, as she played the virgin-whore role to the hilt. But can somebody explain to me how this clearly inebriated, quite untalented hack is selling records?
 
I'd argue it's because we, the people, are still paying attention to the 'wreck' Britney, and that's translating into sales for 'singer' Britney. Even after the shaven head, the loss of custody, and (most importantly,) the poorly lip-synced performance on MTV, "Gimmie More" is a huge hit.

HUGE.

I don't think it's dumb luck, either. Spears' handlers and producers know the score: trainwrecks sell albums. Thus, while I don't think that the Britney meltdown is as manufactured as her music, I think that some smart people are keeping the meltdown in the tabs to make money.

I'm not going to make the argument that we, the people are paying attention to nonsense instead of paying credence to real issues, problems and situations out there...because I know that we, the people, en masse, just don't care. We've proven that, over and over and over again. The real issues just don't matter...or aren't as entertaining as the bullshit.

But I would like to see us paying attention to celebrities and stars for their music and acting, rather than their extra-curricular activities. I'm so sick of people like Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, and even Perez Hilton...empowered and enriched because we pay attention to them.

Look away from them: attention gives them power.

So...my resolution this year is to cease paying attention to people who contribute nothing to our culture. I am no longer going to empower them, which leads to money and influence. If Lindsay Lohan falls off the wagon, I don't care to know. If she makes an awesome movie, please inform me. If Britney wears yet another ugly outfit, weave or wig...don't tell me. If she learns how to sing and records a kick-ass album, let me know (I'll not hold my breath on that one.)

In fact, when somebody sends me a useless story about one of these folks, I'm going to send them a link to something really important, like the current temperature of the earth, or the AIDS death toll in Africa, even the state of the tranportation grid in this country.

Maybe if we, the people, all do this, we'll drop these celebutards before Rumer Willis gets her very own perfume line.

Maybe, if we, the people, all do this...Rumer Willis will have to act, sing, dance or write before she gets the right to get her very own perfume line.

Maybe if we, the people, all do this, falling out of a rich and famous snatch won't immediately guarantee you fame and fortune.

Maybe talent will matter more.

And just maybe...we, the people will pay attention to the news, to the politics, to the real shit going down.

Just look away.

























 

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